This post was prompted by Little Miss Menopause over at Once Upon Your Prime who enjoyed my piece using TV titles (The Days of our Lives) and challenged me to do the same with some movie titles. It’s been a long time coming, but in the midst of all that’s going on, I feel lucky to have come up with anything at all! We really did have an incredible series of disasters (lightning strike, a period of no heat in middle of winter, a 3-week period of not being able to use our kitchen, hitting a deer, a 10-minute daily commute turning into a 2-hour daily commute, being hit by a teen driver, pipe breaks in two houses in two states, workers that wouldn’t show up, no brakes on a car, etc.) following our move to MD last year but there was a lot of good for us there too. For the purposes of this writing, I focused more on the disaster part of things.
Now DON’T SAY A WORD this is FOR YOUR EYES ONLY…. but just so you know…..
IT was only a SIMPLE TWIST OF FATE that made us into the OUT OF TOWNERS the first time. I had serious misgivings about this BIG move and knew even the BEST LAID PLANS often went awry. Plus, at that point, I didn’t even know THE AWFUL TRUTH. I was definitely CLUELESS. These misgivings turned out to be an OMEN. We were basically heading into a TEMPLE OF DOOM. But I also knew you have to go WHERE THE MONEY IS and was actually quite BEWITCHED by the idea of moving to such a lovely area. In the end, I figured, well, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE so off we went across THE GREAT DIVIDE and onto the Eastern Shore. As it turned out, that move was just A BRIDGE TOO FAR.
After about SIX DAYS AND SEVEN NIGHTS, I had a pretty good inkling that I wasn’t going to do too well with this move. CATASTROPHEs began to strike. After about 9 MONTHS and many catastrophic events in a row, it began to feel like a YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY. Oh I met some BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE and even some ORDINARY PEOPLE and sometimes even felt I was ON THE RIGHT TRACK. We also got caught up in THE PARENT TRAP when thinking ABOUT A BOY (our son) who was thriving in this place. But the two of us were living in MISERY. It was a CATCH 22. By the end of our year there it had gotten so bad we were WAITING TO EXHALE and were only interested in STAYING ALIVE. Finally, our common SENSE AND SENSIBILITY dictated that when on the TITANIC, there is a POINT OF NO RETURN and you realize SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE with great SPEED.
Once I found out that where we were at was AS GOOD AS IT GETS in that area, I told my husband then WHAT A GIRL WANTS and left him BREATHLESS as I threw down THE GAUNTLET. Nothing was LOST IN TRANSLATION. Now, I’m no DIVA that will regularly STAND AND DELIVER ultimatums and I didn’t do that this time. But he already knows it’s a RISKY BUSINESS at THE BEST OF TIMES and that when I’m upset there are no TERMS OF ENDEARMENT that can calm me down. I’m sure he thinks OH GOD and gets THAT SINKING FEELING in the pit of his stomach whenever I start going off the DEEP END. He knows that he doesn’t get TWO WEEKS NOTICE and actually doesn’t even get 48 HOURS to make it all better. He needs to think fast and take EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES to come up with an act of UNCOMMON VALOR or risk being caught in the CROSSFIRE. Generally, he’s one of only A FEW GOOD MEN and does quite well, but I’m sure it’s SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL for his nerves when he manages head me off and not hear TAPS playing in the background of his mind. This man earns his marital STRIPES on days like this.
My son and I made the move BACK TO THE FUTURE at the beginning of August while my husband set up in Virginia to train his replacement for a month. For me, COMING HOME was a big CELEBRATION. We (well, two of us anyway) are back in our home state, but now two hours north of where our old home is. THE SHINING sun has been out most every day and yet we’ve escaped the dreaded HEAT of Maryland. Actually, we’re anxiously awaiting the BIG CHILL of the winter months when we’re sure to have an ICE AGE and perhaps be FROZEN since we are now in one of the snowiest areas of the United States and right on a Great Lake. I guess we’re going to find out how much I really do like snow and if retiring to Canada is realistic or pure fantasy from watching ANNE OF GREEN GABLES. It should be a good practice run anyway.
Setting up HOUSE here without my husband feels like being a HOUSESITTER. I can set up things, but it can’t be totally done until he gets here and completes our family picture with his slippers and personal effects. It’s like constantly being HOME ALONE and I’m not a real fan of that. THE AWFUL TRUTH is I really hate being alone and especially in these, THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES. But tomorrow he’s HOMEWARD BOUND and we’ll be together again all in one place. HOPE SPRINGS eternal and I would imagine that in about 9 1/2 WEEKS or so, we’ll be looking at BRICK MANSIONS with GREAT EXPECTATIONS of a place to make our new HOUSE OF MIRTH.
But for now, I’m content to just have us all in one place. I know now some of what can happen and I know how little I can control. I know what it’s like to feel DAZED AND CONFUSED. I know what it’s like to wonder WHICH WAY IS UP and definitely nothing is TAKEN for granted. I’ll NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN. But I also know now, we DON’T LOOK BACK. There’s only one way to go and that’s UP!
(Still no time to take many pictures yet, so credit again given to Google Image Search)